moany mouse

A lifestyle blog

Saturday, 12 September 2015

Living With Resting Bitch Face

We all know someone with Resting Bitch Face. If you can't think who that is, it's probably you. It's okay - own it. I am also living this life. We will be wrinkle free goddesses when we are old age pensioners.

If there's one thing R.B.F. is really good at, it's making your life as awkward as possible. For example, the following things happen on a regular basis. 

"Cheer up - it might never happen!" 

Thanks for that cheeky chappy LAD! I was actually really happy thinking about winning the lottery and buying a home filled with kittens and puppies but yeah thanks for telling me that might never happen, ruiner. 

Opening presents is massively uncomfortable.

I am legit over the moon that you've gone to all this trouble and I'm trying to shape my face into some sort of expression that will truly display this feeling however I fear I may be scaring you a little.

"Do you feel okay?"

I did until you asked. Do I look sick? I feel a bit sick now actually. Come to think of it, I did have a weird pain in my side earlier. Oh god this is it for me please delete my internet history when I'm gone.

People always think you're being sarcastic. 

You can't say things like "it's okay, take your time", "that was really funny" or "I'm so happy for you" without someone thinking you're taking the mick.

However, let me remind you of the positives that living with a face like thunder can have.

People will think you are a total bad-ass. 

And you are. You really have your ish together...and even if you don't, people won't question it. 

Less awkward small-talk.

Supermarket freebies.

You can try the nice chocolate without the follow up pressure to buy it because you look like you have places to go and people to see. Even when you sneak back around a second time. No I don't do that. (of course I do)

People won't question your life choices. 

You're buying five packets of Oreos? Cool.
Oh, you're 26 and drinking Ribena out of a little carton? Also cool. 
You're wearing pyjamas and slippers to the McDonalds drive through? Awesome. 
You have something to say about these life choices? Didn't think so.

Own it.

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