moany mouse

A lifestyle blog

Tuesday, 10 November 2015

Health Update

So a couple of weeks ago I mentioned that I was about to stop taking some medication (click here to read the post). I thought I'd write a little update on how I'm doing. 

For those of you that don't know, I struggle with anxiety and depression. It's always been something that has been bubbling away under the surface however after a challenging year last year with the break-up & then make-up of a long term relationship, and then a bumpy start to this year with the sudden passing of a family member and taking on the task of arranging a funeral, I think everything just kind of came to a head. Not immediately, but a few months later. 

Fast forward somewhat of a mental breakdown and various concoctions of beta-blockers and anti-depressants, I have decided to come off the medication all together. This is for two reasons, 1) after months and months of trying, I really can't feel any difference in how they make me feel, and 2) the side-effects are a bit much, especially seeing as the tablets aren't working anyway. 

Anyway, so far so good. I know it has only been a couple of weeks, and don't get me wrong there has been a few wobbles in that time, but I actually feel like I'm starting to get a bit more control over my life and my emotions. I don't want to jinx it but I think this might work out alright. 

Next for me is the big return to the office. When everything got on top of me, my doctor suggested some time away from the office. I can't even say that work had made me any worse than I was feeling because to be honest I was indifferent to everything, but the goal of feeling better involved taking a break and focussing on me for a while. 

The doctor that I initially met with gave me some advice - "You need to be your own friend instead of being so hard on yourself." I'm trying to keep this in mind everyday. I know I'm not going to wake up one day and be magically "fixed" but I can certainly work towards living a happier life. 

This talks to me on a real level

I think it's important for people to talk about mental health and that's why I'll continue to update about mine on this blog. I know not everyone is ready to talk about their journey but by sharing my own I hope anyone going through anything similar knows they are able to reach out to me if they need some someone to talk to. (not for medical advice because what works for one might not for another, but I'll certainly be your cheerleader and help support you). Just to re-iterate, what may work/not work for me might have the opposite effect on you, I'm in no way suggesting you take the same path as me but would encourage you to talk through your options.

If you want to talk to me check out my contact page for different ways to noise me up.


  1. I think it's great that you're so open about your anxiety and depression on your blog, like you said, it does need to be more widely talked about. What your doctor said is so true as well, I think I need to remember that myself sometimes.

    The Velvet Black | UK Style & Beauty Blog

    1. Thank you lovely. I think it is really good advice and it fits to loads of different circumstances. I told it to my friend who's dog recently passed away and it's helped her, as well as helping me with getting better. You should keep it in mind. :)

  2. I'm so glad it's going well. My therapist has been talking a lot to me about medication and I'm really on the fence about it. I've never liked taking medication for anything (I get anxious about it LOLOLOL) so I'm trying to avoid it. But then sometimes everything explodes and it just seems like the only option. It's really nice to hear not only that you are trying something new, but also that you're putting yourself first.

    1. LOL. Gotta laugh right? Haha.

      I think the medicine gets a bad rap. I've heard a lot of people talking about it like it's the worst thing you could do, and I think that maybe put me off for a good while. It did all seem to explode though so I eventually gave it a shot.

      The only thing I didn't try was sleeping pills because apparently the prescribed ones are really easy to get addicted to but again it's all about finding what works for you!

      Going through a stage of not being able to get to sleep now, kinda wishing I'd said yes!